He said he had ridden here on his bike and hadn't had time to shower, so if it were O.K. with her he would have a quick rinse before starting. He asked her to lie on her stomach and handed her a towel to place over herself.A few minutes later Joel returned to the room, wearing a loose fitting Larker's basketball top and a pair of tight fitting Lycra bike shorts. While he made some small talk and prepared his massage oils, I could see Kaitlin, with her head turned away from me but facing the mirror directly opposite, continuing to check out her masseur. Joel took a small CD player out of his pack and turned on some relaxing "massage therapy" music. Joel then proceeded to explain his massage technique. He explained that the massage comprised two parts. The first would comprise a gentle and more superficial massage, with the second part involving deeper probing of the tissues. If at any time Kaitlin felt the probing was too deep or if she was uncomfortable in any other way she should. I also don't understand how I could even consider letting Victoria die." I was guessing, but I thought it was a good guess. The shock in her eyes told me it was a right guess, also."I didn't say that! I never said it was you! I didn't say that! I didn't!" There were so many things this woman panicked about. She needed help; she couldn't handle it alone. Her guilt was overwhelming her. Well, I knew how to take care of that. It would hurt her, but I could take her guilt away. Then I felt the blood drain from my face as I realized the ramifications of how I was going to take her guilt away. The guilt was mine, not hers. She had been carrying it all this time for me."Patrick? What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost! What is it, honey?" My heart thrilled when she called me 'honey'."Megan... you said the activation of... Protocol 14?... had to be approved by the man in white, the leader. Right?" I asked her gently. I had to proceed cautiously; I didn't want to hurt her any more.
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